Dealing with dissatisfaction

For everyone, ego can be an anchor. I often find myself in the cycle of producing a set of pictures that I love and am satisfied with, just for my next set to be unsatisfactory. And at the beginning of this photography journey, I would get upset. I would let it ruin my day because sometimes it was the only thing I would look forward to in my week. I’m glad to say that the outlook I just described has changed (for the most part). And because of this, being humbled has been an ongoing process of acceptance.

For my most recent set of photos, I expected that a majority would be up to my standards, and I think this belief came from enjoying being in the moment while taking these photos. The actual action of getting out of my house and exploring, whether it be mundane or eventful it impacts my day and makes it better. Once I got my scans back, I was sorely disappointed. When I expressed this to my mother for her input, she gave me a thoughtful comparison. She herself is a painter, and she told me that some of the professional painters she follows practice perfecting a painting over 40 times, even a professional painter has a stack of 40 papers of the same painting, and that gave me some perspective. Although my outcome was subpar, it inspires me to keep going and get out there. I might take 100 more terrible photos in a row. I never forget the feeling of enjoyment and actual pure happiness I experienced from this. The cover for this first blog is my favorite photo from this set.

For the second time within a month, I found myself in Pennsylvania once again, but this time with my good friends. This photo in particular, I was with my friend Will, and we departed from the rest of the group because one of them wanted Chipotle in an area we had already experienced a year prior. 20 minutes into walking, we cross this street where we find ourselves in front of a man with a rugrats hoodie. A very charismatic man at that, he asked if he could get some photos. Personally, I love it when people come up to me asking for a photo, so of course I obliged. Not long after, a woman who I assumed was a friend of his joined in on this short photoshoot. In between photos, they are close together. Exchanging kisses, whispers of thoughts that I could only imagine, is forgotten by them now, but still special to them, no matter what their relationship was. I could see that they had each other. It was special. I never got either of their names, but I found those photos of them to be my favorite.

The surprising religious theme was the icing on the cake as he pulled out a bible and notes of chapters and scripture he had written down. It added so much more depth to the photo. It gave you just a little bit of background on who this man was or who he was trying to be. Despite the circumstances, I could see that this man felt special to me. That’s why out of all my choices from this set, I chose him. The lack of backstory leaves a sort of mystery that I’ll leave to your imagination.

It’s a blessing to be able to do this, to have some people enjoy what I do. Thank you.

This is my first ever blog post, so bear with me while I still get the hang of this or figure out how I want to produce this. This has been something I have always wanted to do within my photography career to make it more personal. Either way, I appreciate you reading.